5 years ago in Blog

I think I'll have to lie down for a second.

This just breaks my heart.. it's a good looking, solid website, and they probably do great work, but I cannot get over these sentences, probably because they are likely well meant. That is the part that makes me whimper in fear, that they might mean well.

With simple, powerful apps we change how people consume their day to day life

People consuming their life? You know what, if you're gonna keep writing copy like that, consume mine, too. And do it quickly.

We build amazing solutions that enable amazing companies to change the world around them

Okay, so this is more familiar territory. Still awful, but in context, I got a relieved chuckle out of this.

In the post PC era we work with destinations to reimagine how people experience location

And then something inside me just broke quietly. I cannot look at this sentence for too long, for fear it might start looking back at me.

I don't care in what twisted way this sentence technically describes the kind of apps they are making, nothing can justify this, or anything like it. If aliens ever force you to chose between writing sentences like this, or Earth being obliterated, do not write those sentences. All will come to an end eventually either way, and some deeds are not worth buying merely a little time.



Why put a turd on top of all that?
 6 years ago in Blog

random (not so) neat ideas

I dug up and dusted off this buzzword bingo bullshit text generator I made ages ago, here are some phrases that made me chuckle, and/or gave me shivers:
  • Rational Vacation Benchmarking
  • Human Relaxation Enforcement
  • [..] we specialize in research of security, with a new counting of intelligence. Other areas of expertise are space integration, elimination of privacy, new education transportation, color-coded definition of feedback and feedback engineering.
  • Irreversible Idea Distribution
  • Compatible Dogfood Dog
  • business-oriented bullshit processing